Blog 3 - My not-so-favorite teacher: Part 1

In general, I was blessed with many amazing teachers from school days to college and masters. But, there are these two people who are my not-so-favorite. I will tell you why.

So, the first one was my teacher in primary school. Since I went to the same school from 2^nd to 10^th standard, all teachers knew me, my parents, my younger sibling very well. It was the case with other kids and their families too. Everyone knew everyone, and school felt like an extension of my home for many years. Until a day in 5^th standard, when this teacher punished few of us for not bringing the India map for class. I am sure many can relate to those years where we had to bring different types of India maps: the states map, the rivers map, the outline map etc. The important thing was to remember when to bring what map and of course, to remember to bring the map in the first place.

I still do not understand why the school could not stock up maps for the entire class and provide as and when required. Most parents (like mine) were busy working full-time providing for the family, taking care of 2 or 3 kids (some of them being babies), catering to the needs of the in-laws (yes, joint family was normal back in the day) and other old people (I had my great-grandma alive and kicking everyone’s ass until I was 18). My mother was even studying part-time to get her master’s degree among all this madness. So, occasionally, a parent might forget to buy the map on time and put it in the child’s bag or the child’s may forget to remind the parent. Honestly, how many remembered to look at the school diary everyday or remember what was written in it even if they did read it.

I had a classmate whose mother’s only job was to sit in the school the entire day and run around asking his teachers and his elder brother’s teachers what needed to be done in home work, class work, what maps to bring, etc. I saw her doing this for years till she made sure both boys were settled in USA. Some kids had agile grandparents who stepped in and did the needful. Anyway, something went wrong and I forgot to bring the map and all hell broke loose!

I was first thrown out of the class with few others and given that it was my first punishment, I felt humiliated. It is not a nice feeling to go through especially when one is used to teachers pinching your cheeks and praising you mostly. My other ‘outstanding’ friends cheered me up saying that now I was among the cool kids, so their validation made me feel better. Still, wanting to know what was happening in the class I peered in looking at the teacher, trying to pay attention to what she was teaching.

Suddenly, she saw me peering in and got furious. She walked up to me and WHAAACCKKKKK! She gave me one tight slap on my face. For few seconds I couldn’t hear anything and when I could, it was the sound our Doordarshan TV made when the screen when rainbow colored due to loss of signal. Also, for the first time in my life I saw stars in front of my eyes. Now, for someone who was never beaten at home even by parents, it was a huge shock. When I snapped out of the shock, this lady was still screaming at the top of her lungs. When I finally made sense of what she was saying, I understood that she slapped me because she saw me smiling (I am 1000% sure I wasn’t). Why would a happy, studious kid smile at the fact that she is standing outside the class? She went on screaming that we had no shame, and that we forgot to bring a map to the class (what a crime!) and then that I had the audaucity to smile at her (why would anyone smile at this lady?). Some of my outstanding friends who were used to this kind of screaming pulled me back and said, say sorry. I think they just wanted her to shut up, the noise was too much to bear. But, I stood there defiantly and said, “Why should I say sorry, I did not smile at miss”.

This infuriated her further: she marched all of us to the principal’s office threatening that the entire world would come to an end there (we got 2012 doomsday feeling in 1997 itself). But, I didn’t care because 1. I did no wrong (except for forgetting the map part) and 2. Our principal was an amazing lady (deserves a blog) who I felt would give me a chance to speak and I could defend myself. Anyway, the principal wasn’t in office that day and while my outstanding friends were happy about it, I felt defeated as there was now no court where I could defend myself. The bell rang while we were still in the principal’s office and it was lunch break. This teacher also had calmed down by then and she gave us all yet another warning and sent us back to class. I walked back, still shaken, with her finger marks still red and burning on my cheek. I controlled my tears and gulped down whatever was coming up my throat. With my pride still intact, I looked right through her and walked back to class.

To this day I wonder what made her think I smiled at her and even if I did, I was a child in 5^th standard. So, what if I did (hypothetically) smile? We were shamed, humiliated and I was hit for what? A 50 paise map? Agreed that you are teaching a child to remember things, be organized, be punctual and all that good stuff. But, is raising your hand justified? How is violence every justified?

She quickly forgot about the incident in no time. I do not even know if she hit other kids. I am not sure if I was over-sensitive. Although I lost respect for her instantly that day, she still taught me a lesson that day: sometimes life does hit you, even when you are not a fault. People will shame you for no joy. Sometimes there is no justice. There is only experience and learning. Sometimes, it’s just enough to know that you were not at fault, but it is most important to stay defiant, protect and stand up for yourself even if there is no reward. I had to endure this lady for five more years in the same school, until I finished my 10^th standard and left. But, she did not exist for me anymore. I did not let her touch my spirit or scare me ever again.